You complete me

I saw this in the Tools To Life Coach Steele self-improvement program and decided to share it with you here. I only copied part of the article I read. You will have to join Tools To Life to see the whole thing. Tools To Life is free to join, no referral link.

There is no person, place or thing that can complete you.  Until you
yourself are complete, you are always incomplete.
                                                                                        -Coach Steele

We are working on mind, body and spirit. Remember that everything in this course ties together, and there are lessons everywhere. No matter what your goal in this course is (which right now is only to complete it), for example, losing weight or motivation, you need to be complete in order to make anything work. There isn’t an event that you can work for that will complete you. There isn’t any person you can be with who will complete you. There isn’t any possession you can own that will complete you. The pursuit of something to complete you, other than yourself, will in the end leave you incomplete. In essence, looking for something to complete you is the same as making happiness a destination: You never arrive and the journey is unhappy.

     Although the movie Jerry Maguire is so likable and enjoyable, it has a line in it that reveals a fatal flaw in its concept of relationships. The lead character, Jerry Maguire, is played by Tom Cruise, with lead actress Rene Zellweger. Well, as in typical movie plots, one of the themes is boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. Toward the end of the movie, when he has lost the girl and realizes he needs her, he runs a fast and des­perate race to get her back. He storms into her house, where a women’s counseling group talk about their terrible rela­tionships. It’s all very funny. So he rushes in and has his speech set in his mind. He goes on and on and then finally says: “You complete me.” To make it fun, she says: “You had me at hello.”

 

      That line got a great reaction from people. Women I know felt that the a guy saying, “You complete me” was the most romantic and perfect thing a man could say. In fact men are just as guilty of thinking that. The truth is that no one can or should com­plete you. As individuals, we are just that—individ­uals. We each must complete ourselves.

 

      A long time ago and I don’t remember when, I heard a theory called the Theory of Circles. Believe it or not, I was in a bar when I heard this old Scottish fisherman with a long beard and a scar that ran from the top of his forehead right down through his left eye and down his check, begin to talk. Now this old man had the accent of accents, and when he opened his mouth the gold on his teeth shined and blinded me for a second. He was a scary old man, who had absolutely nothing to do with this story. The old man who told me this story was quite normal, and this is what he explained. It made sense to me, and I would like to pass it on to you.

 

      He explained that the planet Earth is a circle, and our being is only complete when we are our own circle as well. In the same manner that the planet revolves, our lives shift, turn and develop. Our lives don’t stay still and are not lived in one moment. He explained that the idea someone else completes you is to state that you are a half circle. He held out his thumb and index finger and made half a circle. He said, “One half circle.” With his other hand he made another half circle. He said, “Another half circle.” So there he is with both hands out and two separate half circles. I didn’t know where he was going, but he certainly had a way of holding your attention with that scar and all.

 

      Then he put the two half circles together and said, “You complete me. This is when two half circles form a relationship and we think everything is great. At first maybe it is. At that moment everything might seem perfect and maybe it is perfect. But remember what I said before, life does not stay the same and things change and move, just as planets revolve and shift.” He moved his hands so the two half circles moved a little and formed a gap. “This is what happens to two people who are half circles in a relationship. Things in their lives shift and a gap begins, and then (he makes the gap larger) the gap grows and they eventually divorce. They split up and go back out in the market as a half circle, looking to find another half circle to be complete.”

 

       “This remains the pattern of their lives, or they stay in the relationship wondering why they don't feel complete.” He went on to say, “Two half cir­cles are always just that, two half circles. No, no, my friend, the only way to be complete and the only way to have a good relationship is to be your own complete circle.” He held up his hands and made two complete circles with his thumbs and forefingers. “Then you are complete, and the only way to have a good relationship is to meet another complete circle.” He pressed the two circles against each other. “Then you are two complete circles com­plementing each other and revolving around each other as life’s currents shift and turn. No matter how life shifts and turns you’re both complete and able to help, grow with, and enjoy each other. That, my friend, is the only way you stand a chance out there. And there it is. The Theory of Circles. Now buy me another drink, laddie.” With that scar and beard, I would have bought him anything.

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Coach Steele then gives additional information and another example from the movie "The Runaway Bride" with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.

I did a video to demonstrate the example about circles and half circles.

I write posts on my Be Proactive Now blog for every day I complete in the Tools To Life Coach Steele program. Click here to see my post about Day 1.

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